September 24, 2018
Last week we took the very first step to dive into some limiting beliefs in the way of living an inspired and meaningful life on foundation of gratitude. #1 belief that shows up "everywhere" and not only when it comes to gratitude practice is "the lack of time".
We defined time as the most precious, invisible, finite asset we have. The mindset shift comes with valuing and looking at time as such.
It is not only the lack of time excuses that get in the way of us evolving, it is also the time we choose to wait.
What do I mean? I am referring to the times of your life where you choose to "wait" for a particular situation, event, person, circumstance - you develop an expectation and eventually you become "busy waiting" for it to happen.
It looks something like this
- you are in an intimate connection and would like for it to go into different direction, but things are not happening... so you choose to wait, wait for hers or his text to come through, for an invite to hang out, for him/her to advance the relationship to another level.
- you are one exhausted parent waiting to be seen and noticed by your family for all the things you have done and continue to do and on your birthday you do not even get a card, never mind a gift with some thought in it
- you work in a company and simply are not happy, and you are waiting for "things to change", culture to change, your boss to change, anything to change, for bonus to show up.
- you are in a relationship and waiting for your partner who is pursuing her/his dreams of education and work advancement and simply you are waiting for hers/his accomplishment to perhaps pursue something that matters to you.
In meantime, the time has lapsed and you are not even sure who you are and what is it you would like to do... your identity is lost behind the role of a spouse or partner.
What happens in these situations is we give the power of our own choice to an external source - partner, spouse, family, boss, job etc. We tie our expectations to the actions of others and simply put our lives on hold. Eventually we feel stuck and resentful as things are not evolving to what we attached our expectation to.
...your work culture continues to have the rhythm of its own, the person of your heart interest is interested with someone else or simply not interested at all, your partner is taking her/his sweet time to get to whatever they want to do and your family is continuing to do the same thing they have always done.
When you live in the space of waiting for someone or something, you simply take away the space or the opportunity for something greater to show up.
And how do you end the agony of expectation and waiting?
Practice of gratitude invites reflection on how you feel. If you are feeling stuck, unfulfilled, resentful, wanting more consistently - that is your indicator to shift to create different result.
Take a notice what you like, what makes your heart beat quicken and what are the experiences you desire - own it, write it, live it.
This may require you to forgo of certain connections, set healthier boundaries, carve out space in your life for your own growth and cultivate faith and trust.
No matter what, keep your feet moving.
When we clear the space of what is not supporting us, we create the space for what we want to show up.
If you are waiting for your work culture to change - BE the change, show up, build your skills, do your best with no expectations. When the right opportunity shows up you have prepared yourself for it.
This lesson is so powerfully tucked in the story line of one of my favorite movies, Hidden Figures, where Dorothy Vaughn with the introduction of the first electric computer, quickly realized her job and jobs of many other women was at stake, and instead of waiting to be let go; she quickly trained herself and encouraged others how to program computers. She was fully prepared and ready for the next stage.
And the same thing waiting for your love interests.. let them be on their journey for what they feel is right for them, in meantime do not suspend your own dreams, goals and desires. Work at it. One small step - day in and day out.
If you have to let go of certain people and situations, trust if they are meant for you - YOU will re-connect again.
Rewind, 2015 - in the room surrounded by 100 plus people, experiencing the wisdom of one of the world's most renowned ontological and leadership coaches who said .. "You wait for no one."
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