December 31, 2016
2016 was one of the best years yet. New home, trip to Europe, walked the streets of Paris, sipped perfectly brewed cup of espresso and enjoyed mouthwatering French pastry from a local “boulangerie” with my eyes laid on the Eiffel tower. I knew I was in the right place. Reconnected with my family and childhood friends after over two decades and reminded myself love does not fade despite the time. Deep conversation with childhood memories awakened, lively music and many laughs filled my time spent in Belgrade and Novi Sad. After what seemed forever, I found myself navigating cities and villages of Serbia, driving and singing Serbian folk songs with my boys. I left as a child and now back as a woman and a mother ready to find parts of me, which I felt at times were long lost. The time spent was perfect… and when the time came to return to the States -I felt my soul was “revitalized.”
2016 also brought lessons not joyful, fuzzy or warm, yet powerful beyond what can be put in words. I faced my fear of rejection and experienced what I made up was a betrayal. There were many moments with tears in my eyes, chest heaviness and inner dialogue of what I wanted really to say. One particular moment when pain was deep, I pondered the question of what “grace” is and/or what it looks like in the most difficult times of our lives? And I wanted to know, REALLY KNOW, as was never guided in my life to it before.
Not even a second later my thought was disrupted by the text message notification from a close friend with the quote:
"One day she finally grasped that unexpected things were always going to happen in life.
And with that she realized the only control she had was how she chose to handle them. So, she made the decision to survive, using courage, humor and grace.
She was the Queen of her own life and the choice was hers."
Later that day a friend (whose middle name happens to be Grace) reached out to me and shared insight into her journey of knowing grace. During those times, Amazing Grace played on my iPhone more than ever. At the same time, I opted to sponsor a child through world based foundation. As there are no chances, two weeks into the process … I learned her name was Grace..
What I learned out of the challenges that showed up this year, much of it had to do with boundaries or lack of. Any connection or relationship witout respect (foundation for boundary) and authentic “I hear you” will eventually “fire back”. You get the signs before major breakdowns, however in business of every day living we tune the signs out. Reaching out for grace I learned stillness, taking higher stand and stripping “victim” shield, along with knowing all will be “all right”. I learned many times we act from fear, rather than faith stand. Faith showed me it is the moments when we feel all is falling apart, is actually falling into place.
2016 was one of the best years yet… grateful for all I learned, people that showed up, experiences - highs and lows, I was loved and I loved. Now wrapping it up with NO regrets.
Here is to New Journeys, Healthy Boundaries, Connections and Abundance!!!! Happy 2017!!!
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