It Is Not About Us
Sometimes relationships are not for us.
We live in a world where each relationship as it starts and perhaps passes, gets dissected into ‘what I learned’ and ‘what I would have done different’ and even the mysterious ‘why did it even happen?’…
But what if some relationships are not about US at all… Not about our needs or our lessons or even our lives… What if some relationships we have are for the OTHER person…a mirror for the other to look at THEIR life…
Paul and I were just like that. We had such a strong start…such a strong attraction…I just LOVED being in the room with him. I loved everything about him. But 4-6 months into the relationship the cracks formed larger and larger… His head was in travel…in photography…in being free…being fit… But he wasn’t ANY of those things… I tried so much to get him to travel with me…even for a few days…even if I paid… He was somehow just frozen. I tried to get him to run with me…to be free outside…I only got ‘no’. I tried to tell him to take time off his ever-consuming work to enjoy his photography…back to ‘no’…
So I had to end our relationship. It was not growing. There was something holding this man back. It was a very sad breakup. I loved him very much.
Years passed and I went through the usual questions my introspective nature loves…WHY was I with him? What did I learn? I could not come up with anything…
I looked him up via mutual friends to see how he was…
VERY shortly after our breakup, Paul had quit his job to pursue photography full time (my jaw dropped). Not only that, but he started traveling all over the world monthly to photograph it’s beauty. TRAVELING! He also started running just like I did! And not just running…running marathons upon marathons! This is the man that used to make fun of me when I would go on runs in my funny vibram shoes! Now, he competed! But the most important of all…in all the photos I saw…he was HAPPY… Happy to be out in the world…
The last photo of him that I saw was a photo of his wrist. He got a new tattoo only months ago… It said the same phrase that was above my bed for many years… ‘live freely’…
How beautiful it is to participates in another’s transformation…to for a little while…forget about US and be just about another… a stand for another…
I met Katherine a little over a year ago. It was one of those connections you instantly know, this person is amazing, spirited and graceful… One of a kind…
Katherine’s words
“My slogan is ‘predictably unpredictable’! That’s how I like to do life…ways, ideas, and plans that are extraordinary! Traditional at the core with deep Russian roots but a free spirit – double Sagittarius! Traveled the world, worked the corporate world and now settled nicely in the domestic mama world! Grateful daily for of God’s blessings!